Well, a lot of people would say, and you may have read about this in books or publications or articles – “Well, feel the fear and do it anyway.” Now for me, when I looked at that and tried it, it didn’t work for me because ultimately for me, and in my mind I was saying, “Well, it doesn’t remove the fear. It means that we’ll just have to step over the fear and do it anyway, but it doesn’t remove the fear. It doesn’t remove the trigger. It doesn’t remove the cause of the fear itself.” So for me, it didn’t work. And for you, you might say, well, there might be some situations whereby it does work, but in other situations it doesn’t work.
Then there’s the other cliches of, well, fear stands for false evidence appearing real. And yes it does, meaning that, yes, you can use it as an acronym and therefore just get on with your life or just get on with things and therefore a statement that it isn’t real. And yes, as I said earlier on, the definition of fear is it’s a perception of a future event. So therefore, yes, it’s true in its essence. However, it still doesn’t remove the fear. It doesn’t dissolve the fear of what we have to deal with.
And other people want to say, just think positively, don’t think about the fear, just think of its opposite and just get over yourselves and just get on with things.
Now, while that might make sense in some circumstances, it won’t, again, deal with the fear and ultimately what it’s also not doing, it’s not bringing it back into equilibrium. And the whole point of what we want to do is operate from the state of equilibrium. Because when we’re operating from a state of equilibrium, we are objective. We’re seeing both sides, but also we’re operating from the Executive Center with the Unconscious and to the SuperConscious. And that’s how we make manifest and how we bring about the things that we want to have within our life. So just thinking positively is taking us out of equilibrium state because it’s not being objective. So while it might deal with a particular situation at this moment in time, it’s not going to ultimately solve the underlying problem or the underlying trigger.
So if we were to dissolve fear, well then what is it that we need to do in order to dissolve the actual fear?
Well, we’ve got to work with how the brain works. Now our conscious mind is thinking, as I said earlier on, ultimately what it’s doing is it’s building castles in our mind of the worst case scenario of the worst things that could happen, and we get attached to that outcome. So if that how our conscious mind thinks, then we need to work with how the conscious mind thinks. And how we do it is we look in an objective way, meaning we get our mind, our conscious part of our mind, to operate in a different way. How we do it is to think objectively. How do we do that? We ask questions. That’s literally what we do.
In order to do this, there’s seven questions that I’m going to bring you down through in order to actually dissolve the fear.
Now, if you can think of the fear that’s coming up for you, meaning that if you’ve experienced a recent fear, whatever that fear might be, when you go through the list of questions, you’ll find that the fear will be dissolved. Then we have to also remove the trigger. That’s another part.
But I want to bring you through is the sequence of questions because it’s set in a particular way. And when you go through it, it will dissolve the fear from that perspective.
Now, the first question is, well, what am I fearful of? Now, when you’re answering that question, it’s what are you fearful of? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Or what’s the worst possible case scenario that could potentially happen if whatever the event is triggering that emotional fear coming up? So the first question is, what am I fearful of? Because that has to be a statement from the perspective of you’ve got to name what you’re most afraid of. Now, for some people that could be, well, I might lose my reputation, as I said if you go back to the different types of fear that I explained earlier on. I’ll lose my reputation or how I’m respected in society, or I could lose my house. It’s whatever the worst case scenario is for you, that’s what you’ve got to name.
Now, the next question is, so what’s the actual evidence that you have that makes these negative thoughts to be factual, meaning what’s the evidence that you have that makes these negative thoughts to be true? Now, when you look at that question and you start to think about it, and you start to look at it from the perspective of what evidence do I have right now in this moment in time, that’s going to give rise to “I’m going to lose my house or I’m going to lose my reputation” or whatever it is that you’ve answered to the first question.
Now, what you’ll find in every single one of those questions, meaning every single time you answer that question, what you find the answer will always be, I don’t have any evidence. There is no evidence right now at the moment. Because if you go back to the definition of fear, fear is the perception of a future event, so the event hasn’t happened yet. So therefore there’s no evidence right now at the moment to substantiate, to make that fear, to make that event the answer to you what you gave to the first question to make it absolutely true, to make it factual. So the answer to that question, question number two, is always, “I don’t have any evidence.”
But then you go onto the question number three. And you look, okay, so what is the evidence that I have that makes these negative thoughts to be false? Because then you start to look at and start to gather the evidence in your mind.
Now it’s a lot easier to answer these questions when you have somebody qualified to pull the information out of you, because our natural reaction is to say, “Well, I don’t have any evidence. I don’t have anything.” And you start getting back into building up that fear within yourself. And so if you’re to work through these questions with somebody that’s qualified to be able to do it with you, well then you will have a much, much better result.
But even just for now, just to start thinking about, the fear that you’re experiencing right now at the moment, ask yourself what evidence do you have that makes these negative thoughts to be false? What you’ll start to find, if you take, say for example, the scenario of, “Well, I could potentially lose my house.” And that’s the worst thing that you’re fearful of, when we start to look at the evidence to make that thought false, what we find is, well, we’re still paying the mortgage or we’re still paying the rent. We haven’t gotten any letters from the bank to say that the house is going to be repossessed. We haven’t received any information to say that, for definite, our house is going to be taken off us. We don’t have that evidence right now at the moment. So therefore it’s false.
So when we start to look and find the evidence that makes these negative thoughts to be false, we start to work from a conscious mind perspective, say, “Oh, okay. So we don’t have the evidence right now at the moment. So therefore there has to be an alternative way of thinking or in terms of way of moving forward.”
Now, if you move on to the next question, which is, what are the benefits of experiencing the circumstances I’m experiencing right now? Our mind will naturally be drawn towards all the negatives, all the drawbacks of any moment that shows up in our life. So our mind has built up all this evidence for ourselves of all the drawbacks. However, what we want to do is force the conscious thinking, force the mind, to start looking at what are the benefits of the current situation? Or what are the benefits of the circumstances that you’re experiencing right now at the moment?
And you may find a multitude of different benefits when you start to answer that question, benefits that you’ve never seen before. And when you see the benefits, ultimately what you’re doing is you’re bringing yourself back into equilibrium because there’s always both sides. There’s always positives and negatives. There’s always benefits and drawbacks. But the very fact of you asking yourself that question to identify the benefits, now you’re bringing yourself back into equilibrium.
The next question is, how is the current situation serving you towards your purpose? Now, if you remember back in an earlier blog, I outlined how you actually find your purpose. Now, when you find your purpose and you know what your purpose is and you’re working towards your purpose, when you ask the question, what is the current situation, or what are the current circumstances, or whatever is happening in your life right now at the moment, that you’re seeing as being a fearful moment, or you’re seeing it as being a negative moment, start to ask yourself the question from the point of view of how is the current event or the current moment serving you towards your purpose? And when you start to look for that evidence, what you’ll find is you’ll be drawn, or driven towards doing something that’s getting you one step closer to your purpose. It’s moving you away from what you were doing in the past, or what you were doing before to move you towards fulfilling your purpose.
And that’s typically what I’ve found with every single client that I drill this down into whereby they find, what they’re doing is getting them to do more activities that’s completely and totally in line with their purpose. So now they see it as being a way of moving them closer towards their purpose, as opposed to moving them away from the purpose.
The next question then is, so what’s a more objective way of thinking about the situation right now at the moment? And the more objective way is understanding the law duality, that there’s always both sides. There’s positives and negatives, there’s benefits and drawbacks. So when we see that there’s both sides and we see that there’s a better way. Meaning even just from going through the breathing exercise, go through, identify, what’s the evidence in your life right now at the moment, and how is it helping you and guiding you towards your purpose? When we start to bring all that together in a more objective way, you’ll see there are a lot more benefits that can be seen, right now at the moment, that’s helped you in your life are serving you as you’re going forward. So it’s an objective way of seeing both sides, and that’s bringing you more into equilibrium.
And then lastly, the last question is, so what new learning or positive actions can you take from this exercise or from this moment? What’s the new learning or positive actions that you can take going forward? And that’s different for a lot of different people, whereby they may say, well, anytime a fear comes up, you’re going to go through the exercise. So they remind themselves of doing that exercise or they’ll set themselves a reminder in some shape or form whereby when fear starts to build up, they’ll do the breathing exercise. Or when fear starts to build up, they’ll go and answer each one of those questions, or they’ll partner with somebody, or ask somebody that’s experienced to pull the information out of them in order to ask the questions. And therefore they can dissolve the fear from that perspective. So that could be new learning. And a new learning might be in relation to whatever it is that’s moving you towards or getting you to do differently or to do more of, that’s what you need to do more of going forward.
So when you answer each one of those questions, ultimately if you’ve done it correctly and done it right, and you’ve done it thoroughly, what you’ll find is that fear will be dissolved.
But let me ask you, why is fear there in the first place? Fear is there as feedback for ourselves that we’re not in equilibrium or that we’re not living our purpose. Fear is a feedback mechanism. All the negative emotions and feelings that we feel is feedback to ourselves that we’re not in equilibrium or we’re not living our true purpose.
So when we bring ourselves into equilibrium, which is what objective thinking does, those questions that I gave you, when we bring ourselves into equilibrium and we’re living our purpose, well then fear doesn’t show up because we’re seeing both sides. We are completely in equilibrium and we’re totally connected. Equilibrium for me, as I said earlier on, equilibrium is where we are connected with our Unconscious and we’re connected with the SuperConscious. When we’re in equilibrium, there is no fear.
Now, yes, is fear going to show up at some point in the future? Yes, when we’re out of equilibrium, but ultimately there may be a trigger that we haven’t dissolved as yet. And when we dissolve the trigger, well, then the fear won’t show up going forward. Now, the type of fear that you experience, meaning, remember I said that there’s seven different types of fear, the type of fear that you experience is your feedback to say that you’re attached to something. So if, for example, it’s a fear of losing your money or it’s a fear losing your house, or it’s connected with, for example, your reputation or your ego, it’s your attachment to something. And that’s also bringing you out of equilibrium.
So what has to happen is that we have to dissolve the attachment, because if you remember back to one of the previous blogs, what I spoke about was that in The Executive Code, picture this in your own mind, if you can imagine you’ve got one circle whereby it’s your Executive Center connected with another circle, your Unconscious, and then connected with another circle, which is the SuperConscious. So ultimately what you’re doing is you’re trying to make yourself in equilibrium between each one of those circles.
As soon as you’re attached to something, whether it be money, whether it be your relationship, whether it be your ego or reputation or something, it’s bringing that pendulum out of equilibrium. So what we’ve got to do is we’ve got to dissolve the attachment as well as the trigger that brings up the fear.
So what we need to do ultimately, when we’re trying to dissolve fear, first of all, is to reset your brain. And how we do that is by our breathing exercise, the one that I gave you earlier on whereby we breathe in for five seconds, we hold it for five seconds and we exhale for five seconds. That resets the brain very quickly.
Then we have to identify what is the fear, what is it that we’re most fearful of and we’re going to then go through the process of dissolving that fear. And we do that by the objective thinking questions exercise. And then we have to identify the attachment of what we have that’s bringing up that fear whereby we’re not being in equilibrium. What is it that’s bringing you out of equilibrium? And what’s the trigger that’s causing that fear to show up in the first place? When you get that information and you start to dissolve the trigger and the attachment, then it’s no longer going to show up in your life.
So what I would encourage you to do is the next time fear starts to show for you is to go through that process for yourself, because ultimately what you’ll find then is you bring yourself back into equilibrium, and then you’ll be operating from the Executive Center, with your Unconscious and into the SuperConscious.
So that’s how we actually handle fear.